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Why Good Enough is better than Perfect
In the olden days (Lol, 10 years ago) they told us this was a good trait to have and to strive for.
Now it’s all changed and anyone who says they’re a perfectionist is seen as being emotionally unstable.
Is perfectionism such a bad thing or should we settle for being good enough?
Good Enough is like saying that whatever effort you’ve put in is enough, whilst Perfectionism requires you to tirelessly strive for a never-ending goal and the goal posts keep moving.
Stuck in a vicious cycle I am slowly learning to let go of the idea of perfectionism.
It’s too exhausting for my mental health.
Where does perfectionism come from?
In my opinion, perfectionism starts from the moment you’re born. Your parents try and out achieve and boast about their little darling, constantly comparing you to someone else whilst not trying to understand that everyone’s circumstances and temperament are different.
What makes one child perfect is not always down to nature but rather nurture.
Especially in the Asian community, we love to compare ourselves to others and try and boost our ego by thinking we’re better than someone else.
But are we really?
As Muslims, we’re taught everyone is equal.
We have a whole annual event for it at Hajj, our holy pilgrimage that needs to be performed at least once in a lifetime.
In Ihram, everybody is the same. From Prince to Pauper, we are all the same. No-one is above anyone else and you cannot tell the wealthy from the poor.
For those blissful days we are all brothers and sisters, so why when we come out of that state of purity and mental equality do we constantly decide to lord it over one another?
Perfectionism is a myth
In my personal opinion, Perfectionism is a myth.
It took me a LONG time to unpick this and disentangle myself from trying to be perfect at everything.
As an immigrant child, I’ll always feel that I am not enough but I’m starting to finally accept I am Good Enough and that showing up consistently and trying my best is better than being perfect.
No-one is perfect!
We’re all just good enough and some of us just consistently show up even when we don’t want to.
Have you ever wondered how people who seem like overnight successes gain their perfection from?
Showing up consistently even when they don’t want to.
Amy Chua wrote a whole book about her Tiger Parenting didn’t work on her second daughter and how she had to learn to let go.
Being Good Enough is better than Perfect
Being Good Enough is better than perfect in my opinion.
When you change the mindset of trying to be perfect and just striving for good enough your whole mindset changes.
Rather than trying to have the perfect house, the perfect marriage, the perfect children and trying to show perfection to the world who really don’t care in all honesty and are throwing stones behind your back, if you admit you’re good enough and you have struggles and issues you suddenly become vulnerable.
And vulnerability means you’re exposed.
The harsh light of the world can be cast on you and you could be shamed or you could be uplifted.
The truth of the matter is being good enough, showing up consistently and doing your best is not what the world wants you to do but it’s what you need to do to be a stable human being.
Social Media and Perfection
Let’s be honest.
Social Media life is a fake life.
With edited pictures, sometimes completely photoshopped to a different location, drama on the platforms and promoting a fake lifestyle, no wonder we all have anxiety around perfection.
As soon as we show real vulnerability, that’s when real connections happen and support comes through but there’s such a dark side to social media it’s difficult to be vulnerable.
In previous generations the world only knew of you when you were born, married or died.
Very rarely if you achieved something worth talking about.
Now anyone can tell the whole world about their entire day from start to finish and therefore they feel pressure to live a “PERFECT LIFE” which doesn’t exist.
What Should We Do?
Surprisingly it was watching cleaning videos from Mrs. Hinch that helped pull me out of a depression and understand that no-one is perfect.
When you keep competing to be perfect you start straining your mental health, and you stay in one place completely overwhelmed and unable to move mentally, emotionally and physically.
When you start accepting you’re good enough as you are and start focusing on enjoying your life with small, manageable tasks then you start becoming happier and more stable.
Being Good Enough doesn’t mean you’ve given up, but you want to build on it and have a clear achievable goal to get you to where you want to be.
When you strive for perfectionism, the goal posts keep changing.
When you are good enough, you set one goal, achieve it, enjoy it and move onto the next one.