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  1. Hanaa Caterpillar says

    Salam, I’ve been wanting to read this post for days! I was curious, because I never do this and couldn’t fathom why a woman would WANT to. We’re always looked down upon, why lower ourselves even more? I don’t flaunt myself, but I never back down to seem more acquiescent, especially not when people assume they know more than I do. In those cases, however, I ask questions, so they can realize by themselves the limitations of their knowledge. All this being said, humility is Sunnah, and it’s important not to conflate it with “dumbing down”. I really appreciate your perspective, food for thought, no doubt! I might write about this myself one of these days!

    • Humaira says

      Thank you for commenting! I would love to read what you write on the topic but I think growing up in a South-Asian/Pakistani background women are expected to submit and in some quarters should be seen and not heard.

      It also depends on your role models, your family dynamics and what is seen as being too vocal/annoying and what is seen as smart opinions that are taken into account.

      One person’s perspective that they should dumb themselves to fit in may be a survival tactic to just get through life until they can be themselves but it will take years of work before we get to a point where women in our own community are not shot down and can have smart opinions without fear of reprisal.

  2. Fozia S says

    Wow I didn’t realise that being too educated for rishta’s was a thing too! That is shocking and hope people get over that mentality.

    NEVER dumb yourself down for anyone. That is what I am teaching my girls now. If you have to do that…then you are in the wrong company.

    • Humaira says

      Absolutely agree! Unfortunately, it’s hard to change the mindset of an entire generation but Alhamdulillah those that value educating girls as much as boys are outnumbering the ones that hold the old mentality.

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